Not an Arbitrary Date

August 31th, 2006

A deciding day! A day that marked irrevocable change! A day that brought years of weeping and longing and sorrow! And a day that began the most treasured journey in my lifetime!!!

This was the day that our first official documents were "logged-in" as being received in China, and when we were legally recognized as petitioning to adopt a child from China. We knew little about what journey was in store for us. Oh we thought it looked pretty predictable and did not see the surprises that would come down in these following years...such is the story of my life.

Today is the day that all those parents waiting for their precious, longed-for children since 8/31/2006, will see their first glimpse through a picture of their child. The first real tangible evidence that this is REALLY going to happen. They are becoming parents, some for the first time, some again. Some left the wait line to join another one, as in our case; to complete another adoption. Some were forced out of the program, because let's face it who keeps their life the same after 6 years. Many of those, fell victim to cancer, or divorce, or loss of jobs, all of which disqualifies the prospective parents.

I am so very happy to know today that although the attrition rate was HUGE, going from Thousands to mere hundreds over the years, at least 20 families stayed the course over the 6 years and are in a state of awe and wonder over the image of the precious little life they will be blessed to raise as their child today.

For all the tears and joy of life, THIS is a moment to be celebrated and I congratulate you all for your commitment to your new child. Blessings and peace to you as you walk forward in this beautiful journey.

Is this reality?

Today, I found myself implementing the techniques of a call radio talk-show host. If you ever find yourself wanting to get back in touch with humanity, take a call center job. I don't really work in a call center, but a portion of my work results from incoming calls form the public. And let me tell you, they are informative, if nothing else. About the general attitude of the masses; the entitlements assumed by our culture; the overall discourse of the American; the great multitude of ignorance which masks our insufficiency by placing the blame always on the other person, usually conveyed through displaced anger. And the poor person, in this case girl, on the other end just has to be the recipient of all the hate and wrath that anyone wants to dish out when I say "Hello, how can I help you?" with my smiling voice.

And I have to pretend that being treated with such malice by complete strangers means nothing to mean and I am still so happy to hear about their every woe. And somehow I have to return to my loved ones and not feel hurt and defensive of human contact after enduring 10 hours of intermittent cruelty.

A lot of times I fail at this kindness and patience part of it that I think would be the Godly character I should be portraying. Because on the outside, I am nice to these people. But my mind has conversations with them that my tongue does not. Like today, when this woman was telling all about her frustrations with her tenant which she kept (unsubstantiated) accusing the root of the problem to be the other party "whom she suspects is mentally challenged." All the while, I am speaking in my mind. "Lady, I think you're the one who's mentally challenged." I mean she couldn't get to any real point as to why she made the phone call and she was talking about everything but what had to do with my job. So finally, I thought of this tactic I hear frequently when listening to the radio, when people go off on their rants....."Do you have a question for me?" "So what is your question today?" .....

And I find myself realizing that people treat random phone calls as outlets of stress. I guess it's much easier to scream at a stranger who handles address changes that "LIFE SUCKS and I'M BROKE" and proceed to tell me intimate details about alcohol problems, lost jobs, health conditions and the like. And this makes me sad, because I wonder if so many people are that alone in the world, and I realize that this is proof that YES there are.

So, I leave with this thought:

Make your relationships matter and talk to someone you care about today.

And maybe the guy scheduling your car maintenance won't have to spend 30 minutes of his day being tormented by wrath that comes from all the tragedies your life has seen. And he won't go home frustrated to his family and not want to be bothered by them. Maybe he'll spend some time on his relationships instead, because his view of people won't be tainted by the multitude of destructive interactions that leave him wanting to retreat.

Oh and if you call me, please be nice!

A 4 Year-olds Bucket List...

1) To be a MOM

2) Ride on a Ferris Wheel

3) Take Ballet lessons

4) Swing on a zip-line in the rainforest

5) spend time on a tropical beach

Some of the things she has been able to cross off her bucket list this year...

riding a horse,

learning to swim,

and almost number 3, but the horrible instructor was too like a German prison guard for my liking, or LuLu's....

We will again attempt to do this!

Looking at this, I find that her bucket list isn't all that different than mine.

It is what it IS

This photo seems to encompass the daily dynamics of "Cupcake Superhero" and "Pixie Dust." A semi-tolerant stance by the little, of the ridiculously bossy big sister. Sometimes, it can get crazy but mostly it's a crazy normal. You know, the kind of crazy you eventually accept as normalcy when you realize perfection is not a reality and that you really can't do much to change that.

I'm slowly getting there, with many areas of this ever changing story....but I do believe the truth that would've done us all service since childhood is this:
CRAZY IS NORMAL!

NORMAL people turn out to be serial killers...

The GIFT of ADOPTION

I was recently asked to reflect on life with our newest addition. Sweet Ruby!

I answered multiple questions about our views, our family, the differences since bringing Ruby home to us. This was a great exercise in taking time to meditate on the changes and why I began the journey of adoption that really started when I was just a child.

Here are some of my answers:

Q: "What does the Gift of Adoption mean to you and your family?"

A: A while back I heard a story somewhere where an adopted child was being teased that "they were adopted", and the young child's comeback was, "SO, my parents CHOSE me!" Implying to the other child that this was somehow special to be chosen into a family. Ever since, this is the view I've taken in how I address adoption. It really is a special gift to be chosen. We all want to be chosen. For a team, for a mate, for a friend. But that someone came and said, "I want you; to be my cherished child" is a gift, and I want my children to see this as a positive. So at the young ages of 2 and 4, when my toddlers ask what it is to be adopted, I tell them it means they were chosen special for our family. And that means they are loved and special to us!

Q: "Can you tell us about some special moments with your child over the first six months with her?"

A: I think the most enjoyable time we had together as a family this year came the week before I was to return to work after maternity leave. We went as a family to stay the week at a cabin on the beach, and just to see the pure delight and complete satisfaction in everyone in the simple pleasure that comes from the sand, water and wind gave me great peace about where God has brought us and what He has made our family. I know this summer was Ruby's first time at the beach, and we enjoyed 3 short trips this past summer.
This is the larger memory of a time well spent, but my real joy comes from the day to day. I never cease to be filled with this joy when I see my sweet girls working out life's differences. At the end of working it out, comes this conversation each time: "I'm sorry", "I forgive you" followed by big hugs of great sincerity and bright smiles on their faces. For they know they are loved, and they know that love means acceptance, and forgiveness, no matter what!

Here are a couple excerpts of other things I had to say about Ruby:

- My most favorite thing she says when I hold her is "my BABY", indicating that she knows that she is "MY baby"

- Mostly, her quietness has worn off and she loves to dance and sing. She always has a smile on her face! And she always has!