Not an Arbitrary Date

August 31th, 2006

A deciding day! A day that marked irrevocable change! A day that brought years of weeping and longing and sorrow! And a day that began the most treasured journey in my lifetime!!!

This was the day that our first official documents were "logged-in" as being received in China, and when we were legally recognized as petitioning to adopt a child from China. We knew little about what journey was in store for us. Oh we thought it looked pretty predictable and did not see the surprises that would come down in these following years...such is the story of my life.

Today is the day that all those parents waiting for their precious, longed-for children since 8/31/2006, will see their first glimpse through a picture of their child. The first real tangible evidence that this is REALLY going to happen. They are becoming parents, some for the first time, some again. Some left the wait line to join another one, as in our case; to complete another adoption. Some were forced out of the program, because let's face it who keeps their life the same after 6 years. Many of those, fell victim to cancer, or divorce, or loss of jobs, all of which disqualifies the prospective parents.

I am so very happy to know today that although the attrition rate was HUGE, going from Thousands to mere hundreds over the years, at least 20 families stayed the course over the 6 years and are in a state of awe and wonder over the image of the precious little life they will be blessed to raise as their child today.

For all the tears and joy of life, THIS is a moment to be celebrated and I congratulate you all for your commitment to your new child. Blessings and peace to you as you walk forward in this beautiful journey.

Is this reality?

Today, I found myself implementing the techniques of a call radio talk-show host. If you ever find yourself wanting to get back in touch with humanity, take a call center job. I don't really work in a call center, but a portion of my work results from incoming calls form the public. And let me tell you, they are informative, if nothing else. About the general attitude of the masses; the entitlements assumed by our culture; the overall discourse of the American; the great multitude of ignorance which masks our insufficiency by placing the blame always on the other person, usually conveyed through displaced anger. And the poor person, in this case girl, on the other end just has to be the recipient of all the hate and wrath that anyone wants to dish out when I say "Hello, how can I help you?" with my smiling voice.

And I have to pretend that being treated with such malice by complete strangers means nothing to mean and I am still so happy to hear about their every woe. And somehow I have to return to my loved ones and not feel hurt and defensive of human contact after enduring 10 hours of intermittent cruelty.

A lot of times I fail at this kindness and patience part of it that I think would be the Godly character I should be portraying. Because on the outside, I am nice to these people. But my mind has conversations with them that my tongue does not. Like today, when this woman was telling all about her frustrations with her tenant which she kept (unsubstantiated) accusing the root of the problem to be the other party "whom she suspects is mentally challenged." All the while, I am speaking in my mind. "Lady, I think you're the one who's mentally challenged." I mean she couldn't get to any real point as to why she made the phone call and she was talking about everything but what had to do with my job. So finally, I thought of this tactic I hear frequently when listening to the radio, when people go off on their rants....."Do you have a question for me?" "So what is your question today?" .....

And I find myself realizing that people treat random phone calls as outlets of stress. I guess it's much easier to scream at a stranger who handles address changes that "LIFE SUCKS and I'M BROKE" and proceed to tell me intimate details about alcohol problems, lost jobs, health conditions and the like. And this makes me sad, because I wonder if so many people are that alone in the world, and I realize that this is proof that YES there are.

So, I leave with this thought:

Make your relationships matter and talk to someone you care about today.

And maybe the guy scheduling your car maintenance won't have to spend 30 minutes of his day being tormented by wrath that comes from all the tragedies your life has seen. And he won't go home frustrated to his family and not want to be bothered by them. Maybe he'll spend some time on his relationships instead, because his view of people won't be tainted by the multitude of destructive interactions that leave him wanting to retreat.

Oh and if you call me, please be nice!